Unfuck Your Situation: Get It Back Together

posted in: Uncategorized | 5

People die, things break.  At one point you had your life together but somehow, through a confluence of chemical fiesta related issues (depression, anxiety, whatever is misfiring up in there), your body that keeps insisting on getting sick and/or will not let go of your permanent medically diagnosed conditions, overwork at the office, creative projects and your Muse that never shuts up, heartbreak, children whose self-governing skills are suspect, the thoughts that are peaceful until you lie down and then it’s a riot and that one time you had a free night?  Did you do anything productive?  No, you did not.  You sat up drinking margaritas in the ruins of your house with your besties while watching Jennifer’s Body for the eighty billionth time, laughing and throwing popcorn at each other.

More and more of your to-do list becomes unchecked until you stop bothering to make one.  The dishes tower to the heavens, you eat food out of a box like a garbage animal, you binge on Netflix, you don’t go for walks or to the gym or to yoga, you haven’t seen anyone (your besties, your spouse, your lover, your family, your kids) much at all due to these modern life crossed conditions leaving you shipwrecked and alone.  You haven’t been engaging in any activities that please you – going to the farmer’s market, making plans to go bowling at midnight, finishing knitting that shawl that you keep picking and putting down, the book you always are too tired to read and your refusal to do anything that doesn’t feel safe and familiar has painted you into such a corner that you don’t remember what it was like to enjoy your daily life anymore.

Maybe you have a moment now.  A project ended, work slowed down, your kids are vaguely self entertaining.  What do you do?

1. Cook something.  Directly connecting to the food you will be eating grounds you.  Selecting the food to make, preparing it and eating it makes you feel like a whole person again.  If you don’t cook, chose food that is going to nourish your body.  If you do cook and you don’t know what to do, roast a chicken.

2. Force yourself to be present as much as possible.  It’s painful, you will be resistant.  It is not the familiar smelly damp blanket of distraction you have cocooned yourself into.  Stop checking your damn phone because that is some toxic junkie behavior so knock it off.  Now. 

3. Do something unfamiliar asap.  It will break the habit of only doing what’s safe and familiar.  A new restaurant, a new city to explore, a food you’ve never eaten, a party you’ve never gone to, a class you’ve never taken.  Get some new experiences so you don’t shrivel up and die inside.  Go meet your fellow occultists so you can figure out whose face you actually hate in person.

4. Keep your outer glamour in order.  Remember, we are all silently judging each other based on our appearances.  The mantra is: You don’t have to like it, you just have to do it.  Do a few small things daily.  Read Entres-Nous.  Get a minimalist wardrobe together.  Whatever is your thing.

5. Have you treated your glamour magic like a house plant you are intentionally trying to kill?  If so, that’s not good.  Get it back in order.  If you want to really kick your own ass, start the New Year, New You Experiment that you swore you would take up but never got past the first three weeks on (I see you).

6. For Lordess sake, do something.  Make magic happen.  Make the odds be ever in your favor.  Remember when you were first learning magic how you were constantly trying to change traffic lights from red to green, trying to get boys to buy you drinks at the bar, trying to magic your way into adventure, trying to manifest the perfect outfit on sale at your favorite store for a twenty or less?  Well?  What happened?  Get back to it.

In Omnia Paratus, Charmers.

Deborah Castellano
Deborah Castellano's book Glamour Magic: The Witchcraft Revolution to Get What You Want is available for purchase through Amazon, Llewellyn and Barnes and Noble.
Her frequently updated catalogue of published work is available on Author Central.

She writes about Glamour Magic here at Charmed, I'm Sure. Her podcast appearances are available here.

Her craft shop, The Mermaid & The Crow specializes in old-world style workshop from 100% local, sustainable sources featuring tempting small batch ritual oils and hand-spun hand-dyed yarn in luxe fibers and more!

In a previous life, Deborah founded the first Neo-Victorian/Steampunk convention, SalonCon which received rave reviews from con-goers and interviews from the New York Times and MTV.

She resides in New Jersey with her husband, Jow and their cat, Max II. She has a terrible reality television habit she can't shake and likes St. Germain liquor, record players and typewriters.  


5 Responses

  1. Great post! The writing and links together served as a well-timed kick in the ass for me, thanks.

  2. Thanks Deb! I need this so badly.

  3. M Douglass

    I keep trying to pin your article on Pinterest, but it won’t let me. I click on the image, and nothing happens. I love your article. It so speaks to me! Sometimes it takes someone else to put into words what we’ve vaguely known but couldn’t figure it out ourselves! Thank you!

  4. “Did you do anything productive? No, you did not. You sat up drinking margaritas in the ruins of your house with your besties while watching Jennifer’s Body for the eighty billionth time, laughing and throwing popcorn at each other.”

    Okay, now personally? I think this is time well-spent. But part of why is because, when I’m in that downward spiral of “nothing is getting done, nothing is going right/well/at-all”, one of the things that suffers is my social life, which is related to #2 and #3 (and, to some extent, #4). A little bit of joy goes a long way towards getting me moving and doing again. 🙂

    Re: #5: Ummmm… >.>
    Meliad recently posted..New Year New You 2016: Week Nine – Asking For HelpMy Profile

  5. i come back to this periodically, usually at a new moon. i wish i didn’t need so much reminding, but i do, and this is perfect.

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