Unfuck Your Situation: Bringing Up the Bodies/My Bedroom Project

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I have been recently complimented by Ms. K about my Instagram life.  I like Insta for the same reason I like Pinterest.  Everything is beautiful and nothing hurts there.  Ms. K said, Deb lives the Instagram life we all wish we could. I imagine her having snapped this pic while sipping hot cocoa in a fur-trimmed dressing gown, reclined on a tasteful chaise.  If you know Ms. K, you know this is v. high praise from her.  This is a woman who drove an hour each way to leave cookies and a card at my door while I was at work.   But alas, alack, we all have our dark secrets and it’s time I spilled mine.
 
You may note that when I post pictures, I rarely post anything from the bedroom.  This is not because I’m so private obvi but because mistakes were made and others were blamed there.  There will not be any excellent lighting or photo editing because it’s like putting lipstick on a pig.
Let’s start at the beginning.  Let’s start with that time Deb thought it would be a great idea to have high gloss contrasting stripes in two purples that are not v. close in color, did v. little reading about it and then had a “helper” who claimed to be good at painting (no) to help with the process.  Said helper is no longer friends with me for many reasons but this did not help.
Behold!
 
We will be painting in a flat paint as the Lordess intended.  High gloss worked in my red living room and my marbled dining room.  Every where else it was a horror show.  Lesson learned.
Jow has been promising to paint the bedroom for two years now.  When we get this close to Solstice, my hands start to itch and I need everything in order for winter.  It is time that I collect and we fix our situation because currently the bedroom (while wonderful for romping and sleeping) is a collection of metaphorical corpses which isn’t as sexy as it sounds.  This is exactly the right time of year to unfuck your situation whether it’s your career, your practice or your home.  It doesn’t have to take much or any money if you are really creative.  Right now for Jow and I, we are in that magical time where we are mostly planning and acquiring.  It’s a great time for that but you can bet your ass this will be completed by my birthday come hell or high water or husband whining.
Autumn Ashes is our color because the name is kick ass and it’s sort of a violet-taupe color.
 
Our next series of nightmares are art problems.  I have hung an Ophelia print that I thought was the height of sexiness when I was 22 and I am no longer of that opinion.  I’m going to put it in the hall closet along with my giant Queen of the Damned poster where it belongs.  The second is a lovely print my sister brought back from Alaska especially for me but I have never framed it correctly.
 
I found a frame that actually fits it because I used a tape measure like a big girl.
As any early 30something will tell you, the height of adulthood is reached when one hangs a bed crown with tulle over one’s bed.  It shows your serious commitment to recreating Versailles in your 750 square foot (total!) rabbit burrow.  In my defense, Jow co-signed on it.  This is also full of ex-cooties.
 
 
Instead, I will be using two Vaxbo collage frames and doing sort of an art deco/spooky/sexy collage.  I’m playing with images here and am open to suggestion!
My vanity is something I love but it too has problems.  (a) Full of ex-husband cooties (blech – noticing a pattern here?  Time to get rid of the last bits, Hail Discardia!)  (b) I bought it when I lived in a huuuuuuuuuuuge place I called The Batcave.  Like, my bedroom was probably about the size of my entire current residence practically.  It is v. hard for me to use in such a small space, I am constantly bumping into it.  (c) Terrible lighting, making it hard to do actual make up with it as you will see by my v. slipshod hacks I’ve tried to put together (d) the actual mirror is too far away for me to do make up in so I tried a really half assed hack but it is not v. good.
 
I had to really sit with this because I just wrote a book about glamour and I got ready for SalonCon in this vanity and it’s littered with a lot of BPAL and momentos.  I thought about not using one at all but I love the vintage jewelry box I have too much not to and I really like to sit and do my glamour thing there.  So I was really really happy to gift it to a witchy friend who I could be like, yeah it’s going to be full of energy so either cleanse it or build on it, you’re welcome to either.
My hack is based off of this one. I will cover this stool in a small sheepskin.  A version of the drawer thing I like better. I’ll put some hooks under the drawer thing, I’ll get new knobs for the drawer thing. I’ll get a small shelf to put above the drawer thing to put momentos, I’ll put a small sheepskin under the drawer thing. I will use this mirror for actual make up, and get a wall mirror and a small lamp for the drawer thing table top.
For the window, I have crummy curtains hanging. I’m going to use xJ’s gifted velvet curtains instead which should match nicely.
 
So, my closet used to have doors but they were hung in a not great manner so one day I had a moment and “helped” them come off. I had cobbled together storage but it’s not v. good. I just sort of left it open eventually but it’s not a good look.
I am going to use xJ’s other velvet curtains there to shield my closet and these drawers I found that are a bit prettier but also v. sturdy. We will be doing the same for Jow’s closet.
A new duvet cover is a must, I like this one.
And finally of course, fairy lights, fairy lights, fairy lights. Draped to look like this. With possibly this star garland.
Deborah Castellano
Deborah Castellano's book Glamour Magic: The Witchcraft Revolution to Get What You Want is available for purchase through Amazon, Llewellyn and Barnes and Noble.
Her frequently updated catalogue of published work is available on Author Central.

She writes about Glamour Magic here at Charmed, I'm Sure. Her podcast appearances are available here.

Her craft shop, The Mermaid & The Crow specializes in old-world style workshop from 100% local, sustainable sources featuring tempting small batch ritual oils and hand-spun hand-dyed yarn in luxe fibers and more!

In a previous life, Deborah founded the first Neo-Victorian/Steampunk convention, SalonCon which received rave reviews from con-goers and interviews from the New York Times and MTV.

She resides in New Jersey with her husband, Jow and their cat, Max II. She has a terrible reality television habit she can't shake and likes St. Germain liquor, record players and typewriters.  

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