Unbreakable: Glamour and Vulnerability

posted in: glamour | 1


Magic is one part trust fall with the universe, one part sheer force of will and one part doing everything you could possibly do to get to the future you’re running towards.  It won’t make your life suddenly be exactly the way you see it in your head, it won’t make everything all better (Nothing makes anything all better) but it will give you clarity, strength and an edge.  Glamour, the ability to be your best self (which includes all of your terrible self as well) will help you with that as well.

Are you guys watching The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt on Netflix?  If you’re not, you need to be.  In a nutshell, a girl was kidnapped by a man when she was 12 and forced to live in a bunker as a sister wife for 15 years and then she’s rescued.  Here’s where it gets interesting: It’s a comedy written in part by Tina Fey.  What makes it so interesting is that Kimmy is so real.  While they try to make certain situations funny, it’s made v. clear that this was an incredibly traumatic experience for Kimmy.  Even though she’s missing 15 years of life and terrible things have happened to her, she’s determined to make her dreams of becoming educated and living the life she wants to live come true.  She doesn’t want to be known as a Mole Woman, she doesn’t want people to feel sorry for her, she doesn’t even want most people to know exactly what she’s been through because they couldn’t relate anyway.

The part that really stuck with me so far is when she says, You can do anything for ten seconds.  Which was basically the advice that was given to me by my cousin when I was going through my divorce.  And it’s true, you can.  When everything feels completely unbearable, if you break it down into tiny time segments, you can live through it.  It’s why child birth often focuses on counting and breathing.

We’ve discussed in detail about glamour coming from an authentic place that exists inside of you already.  But what if your authentic place is currently feeling scared, sad, depressed, anxious or something else not very positive?  What if you’re weirded out by the attention you’re suddenly receiving?  What if you feel unsure and vulnerable?  How can you maintain your glamour and get through all of what you’re going through?  Is glamour just a magic for when life isn’t constantly punching you in the junk?

No, Charmers.

When life is punching you in your respective junk, that’s when you need to be most connected to your glamour and everything that makes you both terrible and wonderful at the same time.

If you can manage to use your glamour when you are at some of your lowest points, you will be more aware of your options (and likely have more options open to you).  Glamour isn’t just a magic when things are great, it’s also when things are terrible.  A small example: Continuing to do yoga even when I feel like a frizzy awful puffball and seeing how good my Warrior stance is getting and how strong and graceful I look in it.  A bigger example: Using it to make my mother’s day a little more bearable when we needed to put her dog to sleep.  I used my glamour to take the whole afternoon off with my mom so she could take time with me to distract herself and then time for herself after we put her elderly doggie to sleep.  MamaFran can be v. stubborn so it took some doing to get her to agree.

Here is what you do:

1. Concentrate on being present in the moment, no matter how terrible it may be.  Ground your feet as roots into the Earth and reach your branches into the sky.  Repeat to yourself I am here, I am here, I am here, whatever works for you.

2. Think about your glamour inside you.  Where does it live?  What does it look like?  What does it smell like?  What does it feel like?

3. Focus on connecting to that glamour.  Draw it to your lips.  Concentrate on what you need to make this situation better.  Exhale the energy as a force of your will into the universe.

4. Take a moment to figure out what you need to do to improve the situation.  Put your whole self into that action.  Use the force of your glamour to get through the next minutes/hours/days/months and propel you towards where you are trying to go.  If this is not a moment you are trying to get through, do it as often as you need to until you feel steady on your feet again.


Deborah Castellano
Deborah Castellano's book Glamour Magic: The Witchcraft Revolution to Get What You Want is available for purchase through Amazon, Llewellyn and Barnes and Noble.
Her frequently updated catalogue of published work is available on Author Central.

She writes about Glamour Magic here at Charmed, I'm Sure. Her podcast appearances are available here.

Her craft shop, The Mermaid & The Crow specializes in old-world style workshop from 100% local, sustainable sources featuring tempting small batch ritual oils and hand-spun hand-dyed yarn in luxe fibers and more!

In a previous life, Deborah founded the first Neo-Victorian/Steampunk convention, SalonCon which received rave reviews from con-goers and interviews from the New York Times and MTV.

She resides in New Jersey with her husband, Jow and their cat, Max II. She has a terrible reality television habit she can't shake and likes St. Germain liquor, record players and typewriters.  


One Response

  1. Um.
    Oh dear.

    So, you know how in Power Exchange there’s that whole Mommy/child ooption for Dynamics? And how the whole “Mommy” icon is basically Nigella Lawson in Taylor Swift’s lipstick? And you know how I’m kind of a care-takey femme who does food-magic and stitch-magic and a lot of laying-on-of-hands?


    I think I just met my Glamour.

    June Cleaver with teeth like an Angler Fish, indeed…
    Meliad recently posted..Hearth, Hospitality, and HomeMy Profile

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