Mrs. B just posted about working with Hestia on her blog, so I thought I’d discuss my relationship with my Hearth Goddess, Parvati.
I didn’t instantly know I wanted to work with her, it was more like a long parade of failed dates with other hearth goddesses. A lot of my grove is totes into Bridget and I like her okay and all, but . . .we just never connected well. Sure we’d make polite conversation but that was about it. Frigga? Me and Norse do not gel well together and at the risk of offending readers, many of the people I know have not been treated kindly by the Norse pantheon and . . .I am not really a maschochist, I don’t need you to hurt me to prove that you love me. Hestia? Well, closer, I’m more on the Greek (and later Hindu) side of the Indo-European pantheons but . . . she’s v. no frills and not in a romantic relationship. Lakshmi? Closer as well due to pantheon, in a relationship but has Miss Martha standards I could not ever hope to fulfill.
My relationship with Parvati really started when Jow and I were invoking them for a Beltane a few years ago and the more I read about her the more I liked her and the more I started working with her, the more I liked her. Also, where Jow and I were in our relationship was similiar to how theirs seemed to work which really made it resonate.
From an old journal entry of mine on the matter:
Funnily, yesterday I got hit over the head with the Parvati stick. It started out as I was doing some research about her in her relationship with Shiva and it was just really resonating with me. I had long since longed to have a kitchen witch patron, none of the hearth goddesses I knew about (Hestia, Frigga, Bridget, etc.) ever really resonated with me which was a complete bummer since so much of what I do is housewifery, so you can imagine how excited I was to learn that there is a Divine Housewife!
I spent a lot of yesterday mangling processing things through my tiny human brain. Like her story about eating only wet leaves until Shiva noticed her. My initial kneejerk reaction was a dismayed, Really Parvati? All that? Over a boy god? But then I started thinking about how hardcore it was that she was so determined to get what she wanted she wasn’t going to let anybody stop her. And well I tend to be similarly bent when I get determined about something and for a woman to be determined to make her own fate, that’s pretty awesome to me.
The next hurdle I had to consider was that even after she went through all that, he still tested her some more. And I was like, that’s crap! And then I thought, well . . .when Mr. Gray did it to Leigh in Secretary (. . .look, I told you that this would be a mangled process), I totally cosigned on that! Even when I was watching it with other kinked people who were all, that’s a bit much. I thought to myself, not really . . .So if I think about it like that, it makes sense to me.
And then I started think about their marriage and how much I dig it. I have always been a proponent of having one’s own life, and there’s nothing like having eons without someone to make sure you’re taking care of your own shit. And when you get back together . . .:: swoony sigh:: For this aspect, I thought a lot about my relationship with J. And Parvati sometimes gets aggravated with Shiva so again, click.
Reasons to Like Parvati:
1. She has realistic expectations of how neat one’s house can be when you are living with a cremation grounds spouse who brings home his cremation ground friends and you have kids.
2. She is super super determined. If she wants something to happen, it’s going to happen. What? You don’t love me? That’s cool. I’ma sit here UNTIL I MAKE YOU WITH MY SHEER FORCE OF WILL.
3. She is v. kind and v. nice about whatever efforts you make to do nice things for her.
4. She has her own life and her own shit to do.
5. She is not a surrendered housewife. She is not afraid to start shit with Shiva or yell back.
6. She enjoys sex! And a happy marriage! And motherhood!
7. Shiva’s main thing is “being”, her main thing is “doing”. She is definitely inspiring to get your ass in gear to do.
If you would like to start honoring Parvati in your life, puja is the best way to do that.
A v. basic puja requires:
* a v. small clay bowl
* A picture of Parvati
* Kumkum powder
* A bell
* Cotton wicks
1. Starting facing the picture of Parvati, turn in a circle clockwise, clapping your hands eight times for the eight directions.
2. Ring bell.
3. Thank Ganesha for being awesome (he always comes first).
4. Soak your wick in some ghee in the clay bowl. When lighting it, thank Agni for being fire and acting as the gate keeper.
5. Tell Parvati about the sweets and incense you got her. Tell her how awesome she is. Tell her why you want to work with her. Ask for her help, etc. Make sure to light the incense.
6. Put some kumkum powder on the picture (on her head and feet) and then take a little off the picture and put it in your hair.
7. Thank Ganesha for his presence. Thank Agni for his presence. Thank Parvati for her presence.
7. Ring the bell.
8. Clap your hands in a circle clockwise in all eight directions.
9. SUPER IMPORTANT!!! You *MUST* eat some of the food you gave them or they will think you gave them crappy food. If you give flowers, some flowers must be given to others, etc.