Alledgedly, I may have lured Polyphanes and Pallas from the wilds of the South to my birthday soiree with a trail of challah breadcrumbs to my gingerbread condo. They are crazy fun and both too attractive for their own damn good. Pallas brought me up a jug of Tennessee Moonshine because he knows what a lady likes and Polyphanes made me a ridiculously gorgeous art (my bee regalia, as pictured below). When guests started piling through the door, P&P v. politely said that they didn’t want me to be kept in the kitchen talking to them and I laughed and laughed. I told them I had everyone else trained that if they want to see me, they come to the kitchen. I also hand out drinks which also live in the kitchen so that’s a help as well. All my friends know that I’m a poorly socialized housecat and I don’t make my rounds until close to midnight.
MamaFran (MF) and my nephew LittleMan (LM) came for the beginning. We teased MF that she should stay and let her hair down and get loose with us but she very primly made it clear that she was not having any of our monkey shines (though was clearly delighted to be invited). LM basically chased his tail all over our house and rolled around in my teepee and made friends with Max II. LM prefers the company of adults where all eyes are on him and had to be dragged out by MF. My sister, Skippy Jump BananaHands (SJBH) stayed and did All of the Dishes because she’s awesome. She also wore her middle school semi formal dress with riding boots so we would know shit just got real.
I made All of the Foods. Like, literally All of the Foods. It was like a v. well dressed plague of locusts. At 2a we did Second Dinner with Taylor Ham, Tator Tots and Cinnamon Roll Waffles. I put a lot of my jams and cordials into cocktails and food. My signature cocktail was my Fairy Champagne (so named by Jenny, it has my strawberry cordial in it) and at dessert I gave everyone Venusian shots (which had my sour cherry cardamom cordial in it). JohnM made sure to toast me and Jow used a broom to get me out of the kitchen to blow out my candles. I sat in everyone’s lap and we had ridiculous conversations about everything under the sun. We all started dozing around 3a and I slept until 1p, feeling v. young indeed.