I am the one who lives with the ocean/ It’s where we came from, you know/ and sometimes I just want to go back. . .
Generally I find that people talk about their Wiccan pasts with about the same disdain that they speak of their Christian roots. I’m Pollyanna enough to try to remember the good times from my Christian roots and have found that to be not too difficult. So it always sort of confuses me when people get all barfy about their Wiccan roots.
Because, dude, that’s literally where the magic started for most of us. Yeah, sure, maybe you had terrible covenmates or whatever but if you were in your twenties you were going to have drama llama friends anyway and, okay, Silver Raven Wolf isn’t the biggest literary genius in her field either but you’d be reading Fifty Shades of Grey or Twilight or whatever crap lit you were reading/are reading as a distraction or unabashed love of the awful. Let’s set aside how you were still learning to recognize the special brand of crazy that our people are famous for and learning to read texts critically and whatever other general community critique you may have.
This is where you learned to do magic.
Isn’t that awesome in and of itself? I remember doing spells for the first time with my Dianic Circle and they worked. I remember learning about the Divine feminine which as a baby feminist who grew up in a patriarchal religion was mind blowing. The ability to be a Priestess in my own right and run a religious ceremony myself as a woman? Brain melting.
The Goddess, capital G was and is an awesome influence in my life. Yes, eventually I would come to see individual goddesses and see them seperate from the big G Goddess who is Her own thing in Her own right but when I had my first dream with Her in it? It was life changing. Learning to recognize sparks of Her in myself was and is an epic experience for me. I worked through so much of the crap that was dragging me down through my time with my Dianic circle it’s really made me the person who I am today, the person I’m proud of.
It was through the Goddess that I learned to be an Amazon. It was a heady time in the late 90’s, Xena was showing me sisters can do it for themselves and wear awesome masks and give awesome warrior cries while doing so. The Craft showed me that I shouldn’t let my young age deter me from working awesome magic with my friends at home and in clubs and that a mini kilt could def be rocked while doing so. Practical Magic showed me sisterhood is powerful. I went to Lilith Fair and totes had an ecstatic experience! Sans drugs!
But most of all, the Goddess gave me mentors and role models in all shapes, sizes, ages and orientations so that I was surrounded by power*full women during a really key point of my development who would love me and support me and tell me when I was being a dumbass and teach me all kinds of things from fixing copy machines to how to bind someone if needed. The Goddess helped me come of age as a Maiden and has made my transition into Motherhood as powerful as it’s been. Without Her, I literally wouldn’t be who I am today. I wouldn’t have the magic or the strength that I do.
I love You, Mama.