B is for Bachelorette Magic

posted in: alphabet, gordon | 3
When Bloggers Go Jersey

So I will make a confession. I was terrified of meeting my PEH in person. We’ve emailed, IM’ed, he’s talked me down from a few ledges, he’s always been super encouraging and pushed me to do more and not just be a slacker as my generation (X) is wont to do, we’ve laughed and wrote witty comments and emails to each other and oh yeah, he became my PEH because like Parvati I launched a one woman campaign to make him love me because I knew he was my blogosphere soul mate. What if after all of that and him being kind enough to visit us on his way back from Fiji he thought, my god, not only is she incredibly neurotic but she’s dreadfully boring too?

I confessed this to Jow and he pointed out (a) he knows I’m neurotic and (b) I’m not boring so it will be okay. And honestly? It was, it was totes awesome.

And the Shen party was awesome too. Jow’s not much of a party guy, we sort of met each other at the right phases in life. I was slowing down (I get hung over now and don’t really hit the clubs much anymore) and he wanted more of a social life so we sort of met in the middle. It was my second time around but not his. I told him he could do anything he wanted for his bachelor party – Vegas, Miami, AC, strippers, race car driving, whatever it was that he wanted to do. He informed me in his typical manner that he wasn’t terribly interested in any of that.

Approximately everything I didn't want

I wasn’t particularly interested in a bachelorette party redeux so I thought about what we could do and I thought doing a party at our house and inviting our closest friends and having a theme would be really fun. I started with Tarts and Vicars as our theme but somehow landed on The Jersey Shore ultimately because I thought it would be fun for our primarily Jersey friends to get out of their heads a bit and just really get into the theme. To my surprise, everything went really smoothly. The party prep went exactly to plan, we stayed in our budget and the party itself went really well.

The kitchen witch secret to seeing if the party went well is simple. How much booze, food and water was consumed? Did people leave at a reasonably hour or did you have to throw them out at 2a? For about 20 people, 4 magnums of champagne were consumed, half a bottle of Hendricks, a whole bottle of Mojitos, a shaker of kamikaze shots, a case of beer, several pounds of antipasto meat and cheese, three boxes of pasta, two pounds of Italian cookies and three gallons of water.

A Gracious Hostess Always Pours Champagne Down a Guest's Throat Upon Request

The party was really good. I had glitter temporary tats for everyone to paint onto each other, everyone socialized and nothing was spilled on the carpet. I really enjoyed this bachelor/ette party. My first one was perfect, my bridesmaids did everything I wanted to do. We went out on the town and ate and drank and had a good time. I wore my hair big like Amy Winehouse and we all had shirts with crystals that said “Bride” and “Bridesmaid”. But was it the best night of my life ever? No. It was a good night but not the best ever ever. And I think that’s a big part of the problem with American wedding activities. We’re sort of brought up to think our bachelor/ette night will be the most wild night of our life. I was a pretty wild girl to begin with so I don’t know what exactly I expected that would delineate that night as being most wild. Dancing on a bar? Did that in NYC and New Orleans. Doing blow off a stranger’s back? Fucking a stranger in a bathroom? Not really my thing.

As a thirtysomething, I was really happy to have this party at my house. I’ve had lots of parties at my house. I didn’t expect this to be the wildest night of my life. I just wanted to have fun with my friends. And I did. And I got to do it together with Jow, making it even better.

Still, being a good hostess prevented me from taking part in a lot of the awesome magic talk between our blogosphere friends. I was bummed about this because I miss “talking shop”. Alledgedly, I may have been engaged in a v. elaborate plan to get me a Gyspy style dress a la My Big Fat Gypsy wedding that involved espionage, bedazzling, miles of tulle and my friend’s battery company instead but still.

When whining about this to Gordon, he pointed out that I had the real magic happen that night which I had to conclude he was correct about. As some of you may know, I’ve been trying to find a bridal gown that feels really “me”. It sounds easy, but it’s actually kind of hard. I have gigantic boobs which everything things is awesome until it’s time to go shopping. My boobs are like two sizes bigger than the rest of me. I just wanted something knee length and kind of retro-y. I tried on a few dress through the bridal mill/David’s Bridal and while our sales lady was great, I wasn’t in love with any of them. The materials and construction have been a big problem for me both with David’s Bridal and some indie shops (who specialize in new pinup style clothing).

My friend April2 (as we call her – Jow’s known her since they were teenagers but she graciously took the 2 position as we have my bff April as well) loves fancy things like I love fancy things only she has a salary to justify this love. She had gotten a Lafayette 148 knee length white dress on a whim because it was a really good sale price but had never worn it. Did I want to try it on? It was. Perfect. The tailoring was gorg, the satin was heavy and luxe and it fit me really well. My mother, my sister and April1 all agreed they really liked it which was a minor holy miracle. She v. generously gifted it to me and then had me over and even more generously lent me gorg silver Manolo Blahniks and vintage jewels to complete it and is going to take me to the Garment District to get my veil, sash and bolero made and is introducing me to her tailors for the underthings and tailoring.

That’s pretty fucking magical, kids.

Deborah Castellano
Deborah Castellano's book Glamour Magic: The Witchcraft Revolution to Get What You Want is available for purchase through Amazon, Llewellyn and Barnes and Noble.
Her frequently updated catalogue of published work is available on Author Central.

She writes about Glamour Magic here at Charmed, I'm Sure. Her podcast appearances are available here.

Her craft shop, The Mermaid & The Crow specializes in old-world style workshop from 100% local, sustainable sources featuring tempting small batch ritual oils and hand-spun hand-dyed yarn in luxe fibers and more!

In a previous life, Deborah founded the first Neo-Victorian/Steampunk convention, SalonCon which received rave reviews from con-goers and interviews from the New York Times and MTV.

She resides in New Jersey with her husband, Jow and their cat, Max II. She has a terrible reality television habit she can't shake and likes St. Germain liquor, record players and typewriters.  

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3 Responses

  1. Got that right. Good times indeed.

    So… like… what are you doing this weekend? 🙂
    Gordon recently posted..What You Don’t Know About Energy Can Kill YouMy Profile

  2. Sounds like a great time. Glad it went so thrillingly well.

  3. YOU are pretty magical, kid.
    Jow recently posted..The Blessing of Other PractitionersMy Profile

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